Specialising in Anxiety, Depression, Stress, Anger, Relationship Issues, and issues relating to Self-Esteem & Confidence
Anxiety
“I’m worried” “I don’t think I can do it” “I don’t feel able” “I’m not good enough” “I feel tense and nervous”
My approach when working with Anxiety is to help you recognise when it started and what it is specifically. A key to managing the anxiety is to explore thinking patterns that often heighten the ‘threat’ and minimise your ability to deal with it. So we will look at your beliefs about yourself and things that you consider stressful. We often carry with us inaccurate views of ourselves, so it will be my task to help you see yourself honestly and to recognise your ability to deal with adversity. We can also explore how you can manage problems or anxiety in the moment – deep breathing, thought diaries, challenging your automatic negative thoughts. It is possible to move passed the anxiety and feel empowered to tackle those things that previously caused you to worry.
Depression
“I feel empty” “I miss how things used to be” “Something is missing from my life” “I have a cloud over my head”
Depression often feels too big to get through, too heavy to lift. As social beings, we have certain needs and when they are not being met we feel a disconnect from the world and those around us. Depression can often be addressed as a symptom of missing something – whether it is a connection with someone; meaning and direction; belonging and community; a sense of achievement and making a difference. Our sessions will be sitting with the depression and finding out what it is exactly that you are missing. It might be about mourning the loss of something or someone, and it might be about acceptance of that loss. It could also be about working out how to create the life and connection that you are seeking. We can explore how to address the feelings in the moment, how to create a support network, how to be vulnerable or create a plan of how to create a Good Life. Feelings are so important and tell us things we often ignore or overlook. Pay attention to how you are feeling and with some guidance move towards the life that you want.
Stress
“Things feel too much” “I can’t cope” “I feel overwhelmed” “I feel tense all the time” “I can’t sleep or eat” “I can’t focus”
Symptoms of stress include frequent headaches, struggle with focusing or completing work, change in appetite (under or over eating), difficulty sleeping, outbursts, frequent illnesses, skin problems, change in sex drive, problems in relationships, isolation. We are surrounded by stress and chaos and non-stop lifestyle with few ways to ‘switch off’. We will identify the source of your stress, how you can reduce the impact and how to manage it in the moment. There are as many ways to manage stress as their are sources of stress. What is interesting is reasons for choosing stressful pursuits over those that are more relaxed or meaningful. It may be quite solution focused and addressing how to manage the stress – whatever works!
Anger
“I hate everything” “I have a short fuse” “Everything makes me angry” “I am easily triggered” “My anger is causing problems”
Similar to managing stress, working with anger could be quite solution-focused – we could look at managing anger in the moment and how to express yourself in ways that don’t make others feel unsafe, attacked or worried. To reduce arguments, it might be helpful to develop communication strategies but more importantly it will be about identifying your relationship with anger. Ultimately it will be about tapping in to the emotions that are beneath, or precede, the anger. We often find it easier to express the anger we feel more than the sadness, upset or disappointment. Our sessions will identify those other emotions and work at helping you to express those instead, and in ways that are helpful and less chaotic. Out sessions will help you to feel less tense, more calm and more at peace with yourself and others around you.
Relationship Issues
“I want to argue less with my partner” “I can’t express myself” “My partner doesn’t listen” “I’m not sure I love my partner”
I do not currently offer couples counselling, however, am able to work one-to-one. Often this is more than enough to start to repair this issues in the relationship; often it is about developing way to express yourself and to listen effectively. It’s about working out what is missing in the relationship, and how to get it. New relationships or old, we sometimes become complacent or we grow as different people. We need to establish who you are, who you want to be, and how you relate to others. We need to work out where the unhappiness or distress comes from, and how to create a relationship with fewer arguments, less stress and more compassion, patience and acceptance.
Self-Esteem, Confidence, Identity
“I don’t know who I am” “I’m not sure who I want to be” “I feel lost” “I’m not happy with who I am” “What is the meaning of life?”
Some of life’s hardest questions, and the area that I am most intrigued by. How do we create a sense of self, and what happens when we are unhappy with who we are? How do we become the ideal self? Can we learn to accept ourselves for who we are? Do we need to change? What standards do we set ourselves, and why? Our sessions can often take a dive in to the bigger questions of life, and how we find meaning or create purpose. My task is to help you find that happiness, to either accept yourselves and the world, or to feel confident enough to make the changes. Life is hard enough – we do not need to make it harder by being hard on ourselves. Let’s make things a bit easier, a bit less overwhelming..
Wokingham Counselling 